Another week of mostly staying in bed…

I follow this really cool site on Facebook called Dahr Man, he has a bunch of really good videos with great lessons on human kindness. Today he posted this and it really made me think…

Think about one of the darkest days of your life in the past. Remember how painful that was? Remember thinking that you'll never get through it? Well, you did. You've survived 100% of your bad days so far, and this time will be no different!

I was thinking about it and I thought the darkest days of my life were when I was in an automobile accident in May 1980… I had a lot of injuries but was back up and around in a month. Then I got in another automobile in March 1995 that paralyzed me from the chest down. Since then I have learned to try to be nice to everyone and live every day like it's your last.

Monday was a great day! Karen came in and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath after she fed the boys and fed me. She got me dressing up in my chair and we took the boys for a cruise over to Depot Park and back, it felt so good to be out but for some reason, I was nervous the whole time. I felt like I was in one of those movies where there was a catastrophe and everybody locked ourselves in the bomb shelter, just looking around and seeing no people or cars and the nervousness. We cruised back and Karen left and the boys and I just cruised around the yard, we came in for a while and I watch TV and waited for Rosa. She came in and put me to bed and made me some pork tacos from the meat that Heather made, it was so delicious! I feel so thankful to have Heather to cook for me, we have been friends for a long time and she knows me probably better than anybody. No matter what she's always here to take care of me. I thought getting out would help me with my restlessness and help me sleep but it didn't. My mom is really sick so I'm worried about her, staying in bed gives me way too much time to think about things and what could happen. Even my medical chocolate and my lorazepam couldn't calm me down enough to get some rest. I watched TV for most of the night, listen to music and thought about every single little thing in the world.

Tuesday was another pretty good day. Cindy came in and fed the boys and then Yukio from the Woofpack came to get them for the puppy play date, dude just needs a big wide open space to run around like a nut… He has so much energy. Adriana and Adela came in and they and Cindy went outside to do some more decorating along the fence, I can't believe how incredibly beautiful it's turning out to be! I found a big metal lighthouse sculpture and Omar is going to paint the fence behind it, drill a hole and put a marble where the light is supposed to be so when the sun comes through it will look really cool. I stayed in bed and watch TV and listen to an audiobook on audible. While the girls were outside my mom called and asked if she could get somebody to come up and help her so I texted Adriana and she went up. While she was up there Kelly came up to bring my mom's prescriptions. Everybody went home and I tried to relax and sleep a little bit but I just can't sleep. I just watch TV and listen to music. Rosa came in and fed the boys and then fed me, I was so hungry tonight I just didn't want to stop eating. Rosa went upstairs to check on my mom and see if she needed anything and she said she was doing better. I played some games and tried to turn everything off and see if I could go to sleep, let's see if this works.

Wednesday was another long and relaxing day. I decided not to have Susan come in, I guess I'm more paranoid than even I thought I was about having people around. Karen came in and fed the hungry crew and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath, I thought about getting up, in fact, I even planned on it but I just couldn't do it, the thought of just sitting around the house in my chair just makes me uncomfortable. I'm not a real big fan of the telephone so Karen said that one Good Way to pass the day would be to talk to somebody on the phone, maybe I can get used to it and it would just be a normal thing like it is for everyone else. My nephew texted my mom and I a couple of days ago and said that he was going to call so I thought maybe that would be a good place to start, it would be really nice to catch up and see how everybody in Oregon is doing. I haven't been able to sleep hardly at all is very frustrating, sometimes I fall asleep in the morning while my caregiver is here but these days not even… I'm just wondering how long I can go without sleep before I just knocked out for days. Rosa came in and fed the hungry boys and then fed me, the girls have been going upstairs and checking on my mom and she seems to be doing a lot better. Adriana took her to the doctors yesterday and she looks like she's on her way back. Rosa vacuumed and cleaned the dog beds, they needed it really bad. We used to do it once a week but I don't know how we got out of the habit. She washed and dried some clothes for my mom and then went on her way home. I watch TV, dozed off once or twice and then listen to some music.

Thursday was a pretty good day. Karen came in and after she fed the hungry boys she fed me and got me up in my chair to ride my exercise cycle, I always feel really good after and I almost stayed up in my chair but I decided to just go back to bed… I could just cruise up and down the driveway and through the house but I guess I'm just not ready yet. I listen to music, play games and watch TV most of the day. Joy came in to take Dude for a cruise, I am just so glad but at least the boys can get out and burn some energy… I think I'm going to try to get up tomorrow and have Sara come in early. Rosa came in and fed the hungry boys and then fed me, she checked on my mom and made some Jell-O and then went home. I can't wait to be back up in the saddle again but I don't want to do it prematurely and make a mistake, apparently, people that have the coronavirus are spitting on people who don't… I even saw a couple people from an elevator camera that spit on the buttons or lick their hands and wiped them on there. What is wrong with people? I watched more TV, listen to more music and played some more games. I finally found a place online where I could play cribbage.

Friday was another relaxing day. Karen came in and fed the hungry crew and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath, I have to admit it feels really good to take a bath and then go back to bed… I'm starting to relax more. I don't think I've ever stayed in bed this long before without having a pressure sore, I am just really nervous about getting up and going outside right now. I ended up listening to music and playing games online most of the day. Joy came by to take Dude out so he won't go crazy. Sara came in and went to the store to get me some fruit and some stuff for salads, I was going to try to get up so I can also go but I ended up just staying in bed. I played cribbage for a while and listen to music, I just can't sleep and it really makes me nervous plus its way too much time to be staying in bed and not being able to sleep.

Saturday was another relaxing day. Cindy came in to feed the boys and to feed me. Adriana came in and helped my mom with her laundry and to clean a little upstairs, she also went to the store to get her a few things.  Robby and Dude went to the puppy play date with the Woofpack, they send me pictures throughout the day and the boys always have a blast… Dude gets to run around and play and I think it's really good for him right now. I started feeling really tired today and it was hard to keep my eyes open I wanted to at least keep them open until the girls left. I took a couple of gabapentin because my arms were hurting from riding the bike yesterday and I actually fell asleep for a couple of hours, I woke up really groggy and couldn't keep my eyes open but I loved it. Fred texted me to see how I was doing, he and his wife are stuck in the back house across the street. It brought back memories of going to lunch with him and his wife on the wharf, I can't wait to do it again. Sara came in and fed the boys and then fed me, there wasn't much else to do so she went home. The rest of the evening I just wrote in my blog, I really have to think of things to say because nothing has really changed these days and no pictures. I watched TV for a while,  There's a show called the last man standing with Tim Allen, I used to watch a show called home improvement… He so funny, he looks and acts like my dad… The same humor and everything. I was actually sleepy and eventually, I fell asleep listening to music.

Sunday was a really long day. Cindy came in and fed the boys and then fed me.  Adriana came in to help my mom upstairs for a while and then she came down and shortened the dog's toenails. She got me dressed and up in my chair and Karen came over to show Cindy how to put on the electrodes and hook me up to my exercise cycle. I rode my FES exercise cycle again today, it was incredible! I'm going slow, I do six minutes with my legs, four minutes with my arms and then another six minutes with my legs and so far no signs of a pressure sore. The stimulation on my legs did give me a stomach ache, cold chills, and a headache so after the girls put me back to bed we did some personal care but after several hours we were unsuccessful so we just gave up and she set me back up in bed. Just as he was setting me back up to my computer Sara came In, the day went by really fast. Sara got me something to eat. I was laying in bed and I could hear a reminder from Alexa to lock Dude in his kennel, just as she said it Dude stood up from the floor and went into his kennel… How brilliant is that?? Dude is so smart and seems to always know what I want/need. When I take him out for a really long cruise I usually come back and have Dude tug the bedroom door open so Robby can come in so we can go outside to go potty, one day I came in and just tilted back in my chair and forgot but I kept hearing this rattling so I looked up and Dude was opening the bedroom door for Robby to come in... That is so amazing! This morning while I was riding my exercise cycle I heard Robby come down the hall towards my door and Dude stood up and ran over there and opened the door for him, it just gives me chills! Sara cleaned up and then went home. I watched TV for a while and then wrote in my blog and Adriana came by at 11:30 PM to let the dogs out for one final time. Such a wonderful family! I watched TV for a while and eventually drifted off to sleep.

The coronavirus is here…

Monday was a long and scary day. Karen came in and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath after she fed the boys. More and more were coming out about the coronavirus, I have never seen people this panicked. Everybody was taking everything off the shelves in the stores that they could and stashing away in their house, facemasks, paper towels, disinfectant wipes… Not to mention food. It was all over the news and the computer and it sounded really bad. Luckily I stayed in bed and tried to keep everybody that didn't have to be here away from my house. I've never been through anything like this. I want to see me and then meditated for a long time and finally was able to go to sleep.

Tuesday was more of the same. Cindy came in and fed the boys and then she fed me and I stayed in bed again. I felt bad for Dude so I asked the Woofpack if Dude could tag along with Robby on his puppy play date and they said he could. It was a big relief that Dude was going to get some exercise and apparently he spent all day running around in circles and playing with all of the other puppies. Cindy and I started straightening up and purging around here, it will be nice to have that done.  Adriana came by and she and Cindy took everything off the shelves in the garage, dusted everything down, put a bunch of stuff to the side so I could go through the next day and see what we can get rid of. Robby and Dude came back exhausted. Rosa came in and fed the boys and then fed me and then went home after cleaning up, we decided to wipe everything down in the mornings and in the evenings to make sure we were clean. I'm getting a little tired of staying in bed but I'm afraid to get up and it's not any fun getting up and then having to sit in my room in my chair so it is easier to just stay in bed. Rosa came in and fed the boys and me, claimed for a little bit and then went home. I watched TV and listen to music for a while until I fell asleep.

Wednesday was just more of the same. I canceled Susan mostly because of the scare and mostly because I wanted to get up. Karen came in and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath. Even though I can't go anywhere at least I can cruise around my house and cruise around outside. Adriana came in and cleaned out the kitchen really well, I got to go through the kitchen and the stuff from the garage to see what to get rid of so that felt good and also it felt amazing to get up and get out even if I couldn't go anywhere. I started watching the news and paying more attention to this coronavirus and it just keeps getting scarier and scarier, usually, scares don't last this long but it's lasting a long time as supposed to go on for several months. my mom hasn't been feeling well but is now really sick, I don't think it's the coronavirus because horses more fever, stomach ache, and diarrhea in the coronavirus is more fever, coughing and sneezing. You never know so she barricaded herself upstairs. Cindy came back at 11:30 PM to let the dogs out to go potty. I listen to some soothing music on calm.com until I fell asleep.

Thursday was another relaxing day. Karen came in and I decided that since I was going to have to stay in bed I might as well get up and start working out on my FES exercycle, it makes me nervous just sitting around not moving. It felt so good, I exercised my arms for three minutes, my legs for five minutes, my arms for another three minutes and then my legs for another five! It felt amazing! I went back to bed and Adriana came in and she and Adela started putting potted plants along the fence that fell down area. Adriana sent me some pictures, it's going to look incredible! I'm so excited! They asked Rosa to stay and fail in at her other job because a bunch of people called in sick so Adriana came back over and fed the boys and me, she came back over again at 8 PM to let the dogs out and then Cindy came at 11:30 PM to let them out one more time. This is such an amazing family, I don't know when I would do without them. I stayed awake all day and finally got to sleep after Cindy left.

Friday was another relaxing day. Karen came in and fed the starving boys and then we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath. My arms were so sore from writing the exercise cycle yesterday, it just felt like somebody was sticking my arms with nails and then I remembered I didn't take my gabapentin last night that was part of the reason. I decided not to try the bike again today because there was a little red mark on my butt, I don't want to get a pressure sore. I'll try it again on Monday but maybe not as much, start out slowly. The rest of my body feels great, personal care went a lot faster and I think I was back in bed by 10:30 AM. I listen to a podcast, listen to some music, watched a couple early episodes of the marvelous Mrs. Meisel and slept. Joy came by to take Dude out for some exercise and then took the boys out to go potty and got them some water. Adriana came in and brought potstickers, I told her I was craving them yesterday… How sweet is that? I'll probably be sorry later but they were delicious. Everybody has been so sweet and helpful, I don't know how to thank them. Cindy came back at 8:30 PM to let the dogs out to go potty and then Adriana came back at 11:30 PM to let them out one more time.

Saturday was another relaxing day. I was going to get up but it was supposed to rain and be cold for most of the day so I decided to stay in bed. The Woofpack came to get Robby for his puppy play date and I forgot to ask them if Dude could tag along so we just left him in the dog run for a while and he was happy. Cindy came in and fed the hungry boys and then fed me. Adela came in and did some yard work, Adriana was going to come in and help her but it was supposed to rain. Adriana came in and we went through a couple of closets and got rid of some close that I don't wear or I can do without, it's so hard to get rid of my stuff but I really trying and now is a perfect time. Cindy did some laundry and then went home. After everyone left I watch TV for a while and then Adriana came back at 4 PM to take the boys out, feed the boys, feed me and brush my teeth and wash my face. I watched TV and played cribbage online for the rest of the evening. Cindy came back at 9:00 PM to take the boys out and then Adriana came back at 11:30 PM to take them out one more time for the evening. I don't know why but I haven't been able to sleep really well so I stayed awake all night and I was even awake when Cindy came in at 730:30 AM, I was exhausted but still couldn't sleep. So I watched TV and listen to music and tried to go to sleep.

 Sunday I was going to try to get up for a while but it looked like it was supposed to rain all day long. Cindy came in and fed the boys and then fed me and put me on my side for a while to give my butt a break.  My mom has been having the shooting pain in her head for the last couple of days and nothing seems to help, she was on the phone with an on-call doctor yesterday and they sent over some gabapentin but that just made her dizzy so she had to battle through it again. I finally texted Kelly and asked her if she could take her up to urgent care but she told me my mom didn't want her to come around here because she didn't want her to get sick so she made her some eggs and some scones and left it outside of her door. She did a couple loads of laundry before she left. I was hoping that I would fall back to sleep and sleep the rest of the day but that didn't happen. Omar came in, he texted me the other night and said that he was back from Mexico and wanted to know if I have anything to do for him, I have such a long list. He replaced the light in the garage and then went to Home Depot to get some hooks and put a lot of the decorations on my new fence, he's so talented and it looks amazing! Adriana came in at 3 PM and fed the boys and then fed me before she took off, I was too tired to go through anymore closets but we have all week so it will get done. She took off but said she would be back either 9 PM or 11:30 PM, whichever time she doesn't come back Cindy will to let the dogs out two more times. I watch Dr. Phil for a while and then played cribbage online. Cindy came in at 9:00 PM to let the dogs out and get me a gabapentin, I just can't fall asleep and it's so frustrating… I hope this helps. Adriana came in at 11:30 PM to let the dogs out again, they have been so nice about this and I just feel like I wish I didn't have to ask them to do it anymore but I don't know what else to do. I decided to watch a beautiful day in the neighborhood, I LOVE Tom Hanks.

I hope the weather gets nicer…

Monday turned out to be a real bummer. I was so excited thinking I was going to be able to get up and cruise around all day. Cindy came in and fed the boys and then she fed me, she asked me what I wanted to do and I told her I wanted to get up and out. She told me that she needed to have more notice if I wanted to get up, she was supposed to be here at 7 AM but didn't show up until 7:30 AM and when I told her at 8:30 AM she said it was too late so I just decided I better stay in bed. Sometimes I just get so frustrated and defeated. It did motivate me to go online and look for any kind of source to find a caregiver, I hope one of them pans out. I noticed a lot of people always say "please just let me know if you need any help and I will be glad to help you" Then when you really need help nobody's ever around then later that day or the next day they always say "why didn't you call us". I guess it's just the way life goes and I really do need to rely more on myself to solve situations. I always wish I could find one person that I could rely on and that will help me or listen to me but I think that's just not gonna happen. It's a really good lesson but I can only count on myself.

Today is the Tuesday and the 25th anniversary of my spinal cord injury. Cindy came in and fed the hungry boys and then fit me. She got me dressed and up in my chair and the Woofpack came to get Robby for his puppy play date so it was just Dude and me for the day. We went for a cruise through Depot Park, down to the end of the world and back a couple times and over to the boardwalk, enjoying how quiet it is because pretty soon summer is going to be here and it's going to be crazy. We cruised up and down a couple times and talk to Jimmy before we went home for the day. We practiced some commands and then I watch TV until Rosa came in. She fed the hungry boys and then fit me after she put me to bed. I had posted about the 25th anniversary of my injury online and it was so awesome to see people's reaction, it just made my whole day. I watched TV for a while, listen to some music and then fell asleep.

Wednesday was a really nice day. Susan came in and gave me a nice long massage, I felt so much better. Karen came in and we did some personal care and then I took a nice long hot bath, I would've loved to stay in bed because I'm always so comfortable after that but I have these two boys that are looking at me with those big brown eyes and I would do anything for them so I got up.  Rob from advanced blinds and shades came out to see why one of the blinds in my bedroom won't go up and down when Alexa tells them to, it took him about 20 seconds to realize the charger wasn't plugged in all the way… It's always something really simple. My Google Glass is taking pictures but for some reason, I can't get them to upload off the glass so it's very frustrating, I still have my go Pro and thank goodness for that. I get really frustrated when I can't get up and take pictures but I think I need to learn to just go out and enjoy cruising around this beautiful city and not worry too much about pictures anymore. Robby and I cruised over through Depot Park and down to the wharf and back, we always circle depot Park a couple of times so Robby can export a few drops on everything. Robby and I cruised back home and rested for a bit and then Dude and I took off for a nice long cruise up and down the wharf a couple times and then up and down the boardwalk a couple times. I watch TV for a while until Rosa came in and then she fed the boys, put me to bed and then fed me. She buzzed around and cleaned up for a little bit and then went home. I watched TV for a while and I was out.

 Thursday was a pretty good day. Karen came in and fed the hungry boys, fed me and then got me dressed and up in my chair. Jennifer came by to do a toning treatment on my face, usually, I go see her but on Thursdays, I don't have anyone to drive and she had a dentist appointment right around the corner. About 45 minutes and she was done. I took Robby out for a cruise around Depot Park a couple of times and then back home. Dude and I took off for the wharf at something in the back of my head told me to check my calendar, sure enough, I thought my appointment with Jessica was at 1 PM but when I looked I noticed it was at 11 AM and it was two minutes after. I texted her and told her I had down the wrong time and she said to go ahead and come on in and she would go ahead and do it really quickly, I was about two or 3 miles away and it took me about 1/2 an hour but I got there. At least Dude got in a nice workout. After Jessica finished with my hair we cruised back home and waited for Rosa to come in, She came in and fed the dogs and then put me to bed and fed me. I was supposed to go to a Santa Cruz Warriors basketball game but they were talking about a virus brought over from Japan that was making everybody stay inside and shutting down all public gatherings so they canceled the game. I played games on the computer and then listen to some meditation until I fell asleep.

 Next Friday I was supposed to have a colonoscopy and upper G.I. procedure that I was supposed to start prepping for and it got canceled for the same reason, they started calling it the coronavirus and urged everybody to stay indoors… Especially older people, people with different abilities and children. I just watched TV at my house all day. Sara came in and took me over to the store to get some stuff for salads and a couple of other things because who knows how long this scare is going to go on. We came back home and Sara fed the boys and then put me to bed and fed me. I watched TV until I fell asleep.

Saturday was a scary day. They were urging people, now everybody, to stay inside their house unless they absolutely have to go out. Thet started saying more and more about the coronavirus and how everybody was hoarding paper towels, toilet paper, and cleaning supplies… The stores couldn't keep anything on their shelves, everybody was panicking. I have a pretty good stock of everything in my house so I'm not as worried as everyone else but I did stay in bed and just watch TV all day. It's a good thing I stayed in bed because Sara ended up texting me and asking me to have my mom come down and feed the dogs because she was having a really bad day and was going to try to pull herself together and come in later, she never did come in.

Sunday was another scary day. The media is more adamant that people do not come out of their house unless they absolutely have to so I stayed in bed again. Again Sara messaged me and said she was having a hard time waking up and getting out of bed but she did eventually come in. She fed the boys and then me and then took off for home. I just watched TV and checked out all the postings on Facebook just to see how bad this virus is, the worst ever they said. I'm so glad I stayed home and in bed.