Time again to find another caregiver, possibly two of them…

 Monday was a pretty good day. Karen came in and fed the hungry boy, then fed me and got me dressed and up in my chair. Dude and I took off for cruise through Depot Park, down to the wharf, over to the end of the boardwalk where we practiced some of his commands, and then cruised back home and rested for a bit before Andrea, the organizer, came by to help me purge and organize more of my house. I'm really getting excited about getting rid of so much stuff, and I can't wait to get rid of it; even more, I haven't regretted anything, and I and a perfect mood when Andrea leaves… Am I going to continue like this, or is it all going to strike me one day? I love how much more room I have in my house and how neatly and organized everything is; that's all I've ever wanted is a lovely clean, organized house. Still, I think about the money that I could have saved if I would've just not bought everything that I threw away, but then maybe the lesson wouldn't have been learned so well? At this time in my life, I just want to save all of the money that I can, pay off my house, and eventually buy another one in Oregon and, if I'm honest, another one in Georgia. Karen came back in and put to bed, Jesse messaged me again and said she wasn't feeling well, and she even sent me a picture, although I couldn't tell if it was really her or she put stop sign-shaped makeup on her eyes. I know she's going through a nasty breakup with her boyfriend, but I wish you could at least be honest with me. Karen fed the hungry hound, put me to bed then got me something to eat before she went home for the evening. I spent the rest of the evening putting ads up to see if I could find another caregiver or two just in case. I listened to some music for a while, and then I was out.

 Tuesday was a pretty good day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry little boy, then me, then got me dressed and up in my chair. My first appointment was with Dr. Rosen to change my SP tube, there was a small polyp coming out of the site, and usually, they burn it off, but for some reason, this time, she left it. We decided to get a sandwich from Togo's and come back to the house to eat it because it was so lovely outside, I just love my back porch, and that's where we end up spending a lot of our time. Joy came by to take Dude for a bit of cruise. Jesse came in, and while she was putting me to bed, Joy came back with Dude, so Jesse stopped and fed him; he seemed to know when it was 4:00 PM, and he will just sit there and stare at my caregiver until he makes her feel guilty… After she feeds him and takes off his vest, he will usually go in his kennel and settle down for a little bit. She finished putting me to bed and then got me something to eat; she still wasn't feeling perfect, and she looked a little tweaking, so I told her to skip everything else and just go home and get some rest.  I texted my neighbor Trish and asked her if she would come over and help me figure out my tickets for the Mountain Sol Festival; I bought some tickets this year just to make sure I had access. Still, I also have some from last year that I was told they would honor this year. I also bought a couple of Mountain Sol Beach train tickets. Still, I also have a couple of from a couple of years ago, and I wanted to find out if they would still honor those. Trish figured them out for me, and we are ready to go for this weekend; I am so excited! I spent the rest of the evening looking out resumes and putting a couple more ads out there for caregivers. I watched TV for a while and then fell asleep; I didn't even get to take any pictures today.

 Wednesday was another relaxing day. Susan came in and gave me a nice long relaxing massage; it always feels great until she gets one of those nerves that shocks me all the way through my body… Then she asks me to relax and breathe. Karen came in, and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath, instantly wipes all your cares away. She put me back to bed and set me up, and I relaxed for most of the rest of the day, one of these days, I'm going to get up, and it's going to be so lovely! Melissa came to give Dude his spa-day treatment, he just adores that girl, and she loves him! She gives him a bath, cuts his toenails, blow dries him, and even gives him a blueberry facial. Karen took Dude down to the vet so they could check his ears; he had a pretty bad ear infection. He seems to get them about every two months, so they put him on a prescribed dog diet; part of me wishes that won't work because I changed him to Farmers Dog food, and he loves it, plus he is not hungry all the time and doesn't drink as much water. They said his ears were clean when they called to have her go and get him and bring him back. Still, now he has a cracked tooth all the way down into the gums, so they're going to have to pull it out, he also has a white mole on his left elbow, so they decided they're going to take out his tooth and while he's out there going to brush his teeth and removed the mole. Karen went home, and I spent the rest of the evening playing Candy crush and listening to music. Jesse texted me again and said she wasn't feeling good, so Karen agreed to come back at 4 PM and feed Dude and me; thank goodness I didn't get up.

 Thursday was a really great day. Karen came in and fed the hungry hound, fed me, and then got me dressed up in my chair. It was so beautiful out, and I was so excited to have all day to cruise around. Dude and I took off for a nice long cruise through Depot Park, down to the wharf, down to the end of the boardwalk and back, down to the end of the wharf, and back and home… Was so awesome to be out and about! We came back home, and I tilted back for a while and watched TV. Jesse came in, and she was really in bad shape; she was so tweaked out she couldn't even standstill, and I thought I was going to have a heart attack just watching her. She started complaining about a headache and took a couple of aspirin, all of a sudden, she started running around and turning off all the lights, saying that she had a migraine. She kept running out of the room, and she would be gone anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes and then come back. Luckily, she got me in bed and set me up to the computer without doing any damage like dropping me or hitting my body on something. Again she had been gone for a while, so I looked up at the surveillance cameras, and she was gathering up all of her stuff, and she left; I was in shock… She texted me a couple minutes later and said, "I'm going home. I'm done w everything" I was still really in shock, and it took a while to hit me; that really just happened! Luckily she fed Dude, but after she put me to bed, she just left, so I didn't get to eat; when my mom came down, she had some banana bread, so I ate two pieces of that, hoping it wouldn't mess with my blood sugar. The rest of the night, I was just in a fog; what just happened?? I expected to get an apology text from her that night or the following day, but I didn't get anything. I just blindly watched TV until I fell asleep.

 Friday was a sad day.  Susan came in and gave me a really wonderful to our massage. Karen came in and fed the hungry boy, fed me, and then we did some personal care and a nice long hot relaxing bath. She put me back to bed, and there I ended up staying for the rest of the day. I was supposed to go to the Santa Cruz County fair with Cindy, but since I didn't have anybody to put me to bed, I couldn't go; they were supposed to have a Chicago cover band. I'm still in shock; I can't believe what happened last night… I've never seen anybody that messed up in my life before. Karen returned again to feed the poor starving dog and me; I don't know what I would do without Karen and Cindy. After I ate, I had some tincture, relax, and watched TV until I fell asleep.

 Saturday was a really fantastic day! Cindy came in and fed the hungry pup, then got me dressed and up in my chair. Trish was coming over by 9 AM to go down to the boardwalk and catch the train to the Mountain Sol Festival. I have been waiting for this for two years, and I'm so excited! The train was enjoyable! So beautiful, and everybody was just so glad to be out for a lovely train ride and concert. I went ahead a little bit because they had to put me in the crank lift to get me on the train, I forgot they needed to see the tickets and my vaccination card, but they were more than happy to help in one of the guys even took Dude up the stairs… The lift is barely big enough to fit my wheelchair. All the way on the train ride, the conductor and the people that work on the train came up to see if I needed anything; they are just the best people in the world! I knew it was going to be warm, and at one point, it did get hot, but it started cooling down pretty quick after that. Trish had an idea to put a sign on my chair that says… I need an evening caregiver and put my email address on it. Many people come up to me and take a picture of the sign or tell me that they wish they lived closer to help me; I just love everybody that goes to these festivals. We ended up sitting by this big group of people underneath, pretty much the only actual shade left; every time somebody from around us got up, they asked me if I needed anything… It really helped because I felt like a giant bulldozer, and I didn't want to move because I didn't want to hurt anyone around me or rollover their blanket. At one point, Trish went to get me something to eat, I looked around on the way in, and there were hundreds of trucks, canopies, and tables, and all of the food looked delicious! She gave me some of what she got, and it was so delicious; it was like rotisserie chicken with a pesto cream sauce and arugula… I would have to remember to ask Trish where she got it. Before we left, she got a quesadilla, which was also so delicious, yesterday was the first day that I had jalapenos, and I tried it either by accident, but it was delicious! I thought it was good to be too hot for me, but I'm starting to really like spicy food. Everybody there sounded really good, but I couldn't wait to see Michael Franti; he usually puts a couple of miniature stages out away from the main stage because he likes to run through the crowd and dance with the people around… Everybody's just so happy when he's about! We ended up right next to one of the miniature stages, but every time he would come by, he would be on the opposite end, and that would be a bunch of people up dancing, so I couldn't really see him even though I put my chair up as high as it would go. I just really enjoyed watching the people, everybody was so happy and having the best time! I remember why I didn't take Dude there with me anymore, there was so much food that was dropped, and he stretched out his leash trying to get every tiny drop, and there was nothing I could do. Towards the end of the concert this lady was dancing up on the little stage told me that she would like to have my number, but her camera died, so I told her just to take the sign and give me a call; she had her four daughters with her and the whole time they sat there and watched Dude they did so good when the concert was over I let them pet him for a while and they were so happy! I think you may be a concert is an excellent place to meet somebody who could be a potential caregiver? It's a perfect way to tell if they drink or do drugs excessively because if you're going to do it, you're going to do it at a concert, right? The train ride back was even more fun than the ride there; everybody was all stoked up from the shows and a little intoxicated. Everybody was joking and just having a fantastic time! We got back to the boardwalk and got off the train, and came cruising home. I saw Jesse watering out front and thinking how glad I was that she was there to put me to bed; I was exhausted. I said goodbye to Trish and thanked her for going with me, and then came inside. Jesse was acting extremely agitated; she told me something about her mom fighting and having to pick up her niece at work because she was freaking out in the bathroom. We went to the fridge raider to see what there was to eat, but she couldn't stand still, she was flailing her hands all over the place, and I didn't understand a word she was saying. I finally decided I would just have her put me to bed; I had a feeling something terrible was going to happen… She put me to bed and then asked if she could have some aspirin, and I told her, of course, she said she was getting a migraine. She started for me to bed, and she kept on disappearing out of the room, and she would be gone for like five or 10 minutes; I could see her in the surveillance cameras, and I had no idea where she was. She came back in, but the way she put me to bed it was really rough, and she was doing it really fast and forgetting everything; she ran around and turned off all the lights and claimed that her migraine was getting worse. I was trying to be quiet because I just wanted her to call me safely in bed and up to my computer; she kept asking me, "what's wrong? Are you okay? Why are you so quiet?" I told her I was just tired. It seemed like forever, but she finally got me into bed, and up to the computer, then she was gone again; after a while, I looked up in the camera, and I saw her gathering up her stuff and walking out the front door, about five minutes late I got a text from her that said "I'm done with everything I'm going home" Thank God she got me in bed. I hope she makes it home safely! I didn't really get any sleep that night; I kept watching the monitors waiting for her to come back and do who knows what… She was really scaring me! When my mom came down to let Dude out for the last time, she brought me a couple of pieces of banana bread, I ate both of them, and I was so glad she had them because I was starving. I watched TV and played candy crush, and eventually, I was tired enough to go to sleep.

 Sunday was a nice restful day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry knucklehead, provided me, and then put me on my side… I hope you know to be okay staying on my side until Karen comes in at noon. I had tickets for not only the train but another day of the Mountain Sol Festival; unfortunately, I don't have a caregiver to put me to bed soon going to have to skip the second day; it's sad because I have been waiting for this for two years, but at least I got to see Michael Franti and spearhead. I'm still feeling really charged from the concert yesterday, and towards the end, I thought my go Pro camera was going to die, so I just kept taking pictures, so now I really have a lot of photos I need to go through and edit them so I can post them. It seems like whenever I set my mind on doing it at night, I just end up playing Candy crush; I don't know if it's because it takes my mind off of everything else or because I really like it. I always have all these projects that I want to get to when I get up to the computer at night, but it's almost like I'm afraid to start something because I don't know if I'll be able to finish it; I need to get over that somehow. I listened to music for a while until Karen came in. She fed the mongrel, provided me, and then we did some personal care, a nice long hot bath, and then back to bed to relax for the rest of the evening. I watched 90-day fiancé: the other way until I fell asleep.