The air is clearing but now it's too hot to go outside…

 Monday was another relaxing day. Karen came in, and fed Dude fed me and then put me on my side for a while. It's supposed to be hot all next week, so I want to start getting up in the morning, writing my exercise cycle, having breakfast on the front porch before it gets too hot, and then going back to bed for the day. This staying in bed drives me nuts; I've been having terrible spasms all day, and my stomach is so bloated. Heather came by, and hung out for a while, and then she texted her wife Mariposa, and Mariposa came by with some tacos. I watched 90-day fiancé and then Judge Judy for most of the day, and then I put some music on and try to relax. Rosa came in and fed the Dude and then got me something to eat, I took a couple bites, but I wasn't really hungry. My uncle and aunt came over to play cribbage with my mom and me, my uncle was my partner, and I think we won all but one game… I started out with five dollars, and I ended up with nine. After they left, I still couldn't sleep, my stomach is just spasming really bad, and I itch all over… What is wrong with me?? I took a Lorazepam, and then later on, Adriana came by, and I took a couple of Benadryl's, so hopefully, that will call me down for the night. Tomorrow I definitely get up!

Tuesday was a perfect day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry boy and then fed me, she got me dressed and up in my chair, and we all took off for my appointment with Dr. Petrocelli… My osteoporosis Dr., to get a shot. We took my van to get it slogged so I could get my new tags, and luckily, everything went smoothly. We decided to go to Pier 1 to do some more shopping, that place is really clearing out, but I did find some more stuff. On the way home, we stopped at Burger.to get some sliders, tater tots, and a milkshake… I got my usual Kobe sliders with tater tots and a peanut butter and banana shake and brought it back to eat under the pergola… It was so delicious! It wasn't near as hot as the weather said it was going to be, so Dude and I took off for a cruise down to the end of the wharf and back; it was getting a little chilly. I rested for a bit until Rosa came in; she took Dude out to go potty and then fed him. She put me to bed and then fed me, but I wasn't really hungry; the last couple of days, I've been really itchy and bloated and not very hungry. I took a couple of Benadryl's, and I was asleep before she left. I woke up a little while later and remembered that I hadn't taken any of my evening pills, and the barrettes in my hair were falling out and poking me, so my mom came down to help me out. Luckily I fell right back to sleep.

Wednesday was an okay day. Susan came in and gave me a nice long massage, and always feel so great. Karen came in and fed Dude, and we do some personal care and a nice long hot bath; we were very successful with the personal-care which makes me a little nervous because Karen will be able to stick around and help me out with it tomorrow because she has to do blood work and has an appointment, I think I talked to Adriana tonight and see if she or her sister can help me out with some personal care tomorrow evening… And hopefully another bath. I watched true life and caught up on my blog. Rosa went back over the hill, so I'm not sure who's coming in tonight but probably Adriana. Adriana came in and agreed to go in and help me tomorrow morning, such a relief. She and her family are so amazing, I don't know what I would do without them. I would be so healthy and happy if it wasn't for them and Karen; they are all such generous, caring people… I'm so lucky! I watched TV for a while and eventually fell asleep.

Thursday was just a terrible day. Karen came in to get Adriana started, Adriana has done personal care and back before, but I'm sure she felt better having Karen there to help her through it. We tried some liquid Dulcolax last night when Adriano came in at 10 PM to let Dude out. We got started but didn't have any luck, so we decided to put me in the bathtub, and that's when Karen had to go; Adriana tried for a while and finally had some success. I got to take another path, but by the end of the day, we were both exhausted, from 6 AM until 4 PM. The rest of the night was just a blur; I watched TV and played games on the computer while my mind and body were exhausted.  My niece texted me from Oregon and said that they were surrounded by fire and they were thinking about getting out; she said by four PM, you can't see your hand and from your face from the smoke. I told them we have plenty of room and their welcome at any time, of course. I got a Facebook message from my exes sister, and she said that he passed away a couple of days ago. He came here a couple of years ago to visit. We had kept in touch by email on and off. In fact, he sent me a message a couple of weeks ago and said that he didn't like email and wanted me to call him or text him and now I wish I had, the last couple of nights I kept telling myself I need to answer his emails… I really don't like the telephone. His sister said to me that he was really depressed and lonely, so now I feel even worse. She said that his wife left him in a nasty divorce, and she and the kids drained his money. She said he lived with roommates, and they found him in his room with a lot of empty bottles of alcohol and a lot of empty pill bottles. I so wish I could go back in time a couple of days; maybe I could have talked to him and helped him? She said when she gets the toxicology report, she will let me know why he passed. Now I just totally numb.

There's a comedy lab that just opened up a while before the pandemic, and I went there once on sloth night; people tell stories about a subject that is already chosen. My friend Trish took Adriana and me there one night, and it was really cold, so now I watch it live on Facebook every Thursday. Tonight instead of telling stories, they had a black lives matter session, and it was amazing! They have a couple of local photographers that have taken pictures of the events going on around here, some really amazing photographers! I texted a friend of mine who is also a quadriplegic but extremely active and asked him about organic juices and stuff that he drinks, so he gave me the name of a local company and told me that he drinks beet kvass and cherry juice; he said he has been doing it for years. He said they also have a three day cleanse and everything is delicious and he said they have delicious organic yogurt, so I thought I would try. I heard about so much loss, and there's so much sadness I wish I could take back all the bad things I put my body through in my early adult years. I'm really going to try now to take care of myself; I'm 59 now.

 Friday was a miserable day. Karen came in and fed Dude, and I just wasn't hungry, so I just had some tea. I was hoping since we did my personal care yesterday that we wouldn't have to do it again, but that wasn't the case; it was so painful, and with the bad news, but I got from my exes sister I just cried through the whole thing. The bath was really lovely and relaxing, and Karen put me back to bed, and I just laid there no for the rest of the day. Numotion finally came out to fix my chair, but it wasn't until 1:30 PM, so I didn't even bother getting up. I was relieved that my chair finally got fixed, and tomorrow I'm getting up, and I'm out of here. I tried watching TV, listening to music, and playing games, but I just couldn't get into anything. My friends Ian and Jennifer had their baby, and the pictures were so adorable! They have a black lab named Duke, and he was trying so hard to get close to the baby, but since it was new, I think they were afraid to let him, but when he finally got his nose near the baby, you could tell it was love. I wasn't this sad when Robby passed, or maybe everything is just hitting me right now at the same time. Adriana came in and went and did some grocery shopping for my mom and me. I've been craving a lot of sandwiches lately and salads, so I thought maybe that would make me feel better, so I had her get some stuff for that. The sandwich was delicious, but then I decided to have some noodles with it, and I just ate way too much and felt too full the rest of the night. I finally decided to take some Advil PMs, and eventually, I did fall asleep.

Saturday was a little bit better day. Cindy came in and fed Dude and then fed me; she got me dressed and up in my chair… It sure felt good to get in my chair. I showed Cindy the pictures of Ian and Jennifer's baby, she knows them also and then later, I got a message from Ian saying that if I want to meet the baby, I could call them,. Still, I promised Cindy I'd wait until tomorrow morning so she can meet the baby also. Omar came by and said he would get the materials to build my storage cabinet outside; I'm so excited about this. I took off for my appointment with Jessica to get my hair done; my hair has been getting on my nerves because it's so long, so I am really excited about getting it cut. I got there about 1/2 an hour early, so I just tilted back in my chair, listen to music and watch the people go by… It was so nice to be out and about again and not have to worry if my battery would die. It was so lovely to see Jessica; she is so sweet and always makes me laugh. After I got my hair done, I wanted to go down to the wharf, but I decided to just head home and wait for Adriana to come in. She came in and fed the big boy, put me to bed, and then fed me.  she cleaned up Dudes ear really good and it looks a lot better, I have to take him back in next week to have the doctor recheck it. I watched the 90-day fiancé series from last week, and I can't believe they already start again tomorrow; I'm so addicted! I tried to catch up on my food diary; I'm keeping one and trying to figure out why I'm so bloated all the time… I'm starting to think it might just stress because it seems like no matter what I eat, I'm bloated and uncomfortable. I wish I could figure out what to do so my life can become somehow familiar again. I was just tense and uncomfortable, so I decided to take a couple of Advil PMs. I played cribbage for a while and eventually fell asleep.

WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT ...

I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it's not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked, and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial & family crisis.

For some that live alone, they're facing endless loneliness. While for others, it is peace, rest & time with their mother, father, sons & daughters.

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment, some bring in more money to their households than they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales.

Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus, while other families of 4 saw $0.

Some were concerned about getting a specific candy for Easter, while others were concerned if there would be enough bread, milk, and eggs for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don't qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.

Some are home spending 2-3 hours/day helping their child with online schooling while others spend 2-3 hours/day on educating their children on top of a 10-12 hour workday.

Some have experienced the near-death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it, and some are not sure if their loved ones will make it. Others don't believe this is a big deal.

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during 2020. Others say the worst is yet to come.

So, friends, we are not in the same boat. We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are entirely different.

Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is essential to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, actually seeing.

We are all on different ships during this storm, experiencing a very different journey.

Realize that and be kind.

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Sunday was another relaxing day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry pup and then fed me. She spent a lot of time Cleaning out the cupboards in the garage and putting away my new outdoor dinnerware, rearranging everything else and fixing up fixing up some vases, flowers and vase fillers that I got from the Pier 1 import huge sale. I watch TV most of the day, not really thinking about anything or paying attention just staring at the TV. Cindy went home just as Karen came in at 2 PM. She fed Dude and then we did some personal care and a nice long hot relaxing bath, everything is okay now. I played candy crush, a little bit of cribbage and then watch TV until I fell asleep.