Valentine's Day is over, now were onto St. Patrick's Day…

 Monday was just another day. My mom is still at Stanford and really doesn't feel like talking to anyone, sometimes shall text to ask the question, and I can get a little bit of information; I can imagine that she's lonely. Stanley is coming in a couple of days, and they want us to sit down and decide what we're gonna do if she doesn't come back or what we're going to do if she does come back. I really can't believe I'm getting this bad news about my mom, is a really gonna be a chance that she's not coming back? A year terrible things about people who get the coronavirus, especially when they are older. I decided to stay in bed just because I'm too sad to get up, and I want to be here if my mom decides to text me. Karen came in and fed the hungry boy, got me something to eat, although I still don't have much of an appetite. I'm so glad that my brothers have been here; I don't know what I would do without them. The days are pretty much just a blur; I watch TV, listen to the radio, edit pictures, but at the end of the day, if you would ask me what I did today, I would remember. Rosa came in and fed the hungry mongrel and then fix me something to eat, and I tried to eat as much as I can. She buzzed around and wiped everything down, vacuumed and cleaned my tub before she went home. The rest of the evening is just another evening, my brother and I ate dinner and watched Cobra Kai, and we talked about any contact either one of us had with mom. My older brother will be here the day after tomorrow, and then my little brother will be going home the following day. My caregivers are pretty religious, especially Rosa. She keeps telling me I need to get a candle, say a prayer, and light for my mom. I'm afraid that somebody's gonna forget to blow it out, and there's going to be a fire, so I found one with one of those flickering candles then you use with batteries. Rosa showed me how to do it, and we let the candle. My brother went upstairs to sleep, and I just busied myself on the computer until I fell asleep.

terrified

 Tuesday was a pretty good day. Cindy came in, fed the hungry pooch, fed me, and then got me dressed in my chair. We drove over to the Seymour center and cruised around the grounds, it's so beautiful, and there's not really ever any people there. We drove over to Dominican hospital; I had an appointment for an endoscopy. I haven't had much of an appetite, so Dr. Owens referred me to my gastroenterologist for a virtual visit. She suggested an endoscopy so you can look down into my esophagus and my stomach and see if he can see anything. They put me up on this table and knocked me out, and the next thing I knew, I was in recovery, waking up; usually, when an anesthesiologist knocks me out, my throat is really sore, but this time I woke up, and I felt great. They wouldn't let Cindy come in with me, so she cruised around with Dude. We went by and picked up Rosa and then came on home. Rosa fed Dude and then put me to bed and fed me. She wiped everything down and cleaned up, and then went home.  My oldest nephew Robert and his wife Mackenzie called me to let me know that they were pregnant! I am so excited! They sent a little bowl full of valentine hearts, and McKinsey painted a peg that looked like her, one that looked like Robert, and a little baby one and gave it to my sister-in-law… McKinsey is so creative! I listen to some music for a while, watch TV, and then fell asleep.

Wednesday was a really tough day. My brother Stanley is flying in from Oregon, and he, my little brother David and I need to sit down and make a plan for when/if my mom comes home from Stanford. Susan came in and gave me a nice long relaxing massage; I really needed it today. Karen came in, and we did some personal care and, of course, a nice long hot bath. David went to the airport to pick up Stanley. David's going home tomorrow, so Stanley's going to stay here for a while. My mom's doctor at Stanford suggested that we sit down and make a plan for when my mom was released. We all got together and decided probably the best thing to do is have my mom moved to Oregon with my older brother's family; my elder brother might need to retire again… He's already retired from FedEx and driving a school bus Oregon. She would not only have my brother and his wife, but their three kids and their spouses, and they all adore my mom. I think my mom would probably prefer to stay here, but I think we would have to get her caregiver, who is doable, but if she has an emergency, she should have somebody around all the time. Mostly it's going to be up to her. I've been looking online because I wanted to find a place in Oregon also, for my mom to live now, and maybe eventually I won't be able to stay by myself, and I will need to be around family also. We had dinner, and then Rosa came in to feed the knucklehead pup. She wiped everything down, cleaned up, and then went home. I watched TV and then listen to music until I fell asleep.

 Thursday was a pretty exciting day! Karen came in and fed the hungry boy and then fed me. It was freezing outside. The cold really hurts my neck, so I decided to just stay in bed. Omar came in and stained the fire pit; it looks amazing!  He also started putting some storage boxes in the new storage shed that he built; that man is so talented… He can do anything! I found some pictures of Michael Franti online, so I downloaded them for the next concert. Jan sent me a picture of her with her new power chair, she's had a manual chair, but her shoulders keep getting sore, so she decided to switch over to a power chair. My friend Joy came by, and I told her that I was thinking about getting a German Shepherd puppy, and she said that she had a client whose daughter just had puppies, and there was a female left; I wanted a female. She called the lady to see if it was still available, and it was, so I put my dibs, it won't be weaned for another three weeks, but she said if I wanted, it's mine. I am so excited! I texted all the girls to see if they were in; it's not right to get a puppy unless all of my caregivers are on board. Adriana came in and fed the hungry mongrel, fed me, did a couple loads of laundry, wiped everything down, and then went home. I message just about everybody I knew to tell them about the new puppy; I can't believe how well that worked out. I ended some pictures, listen to some music and then watch TV until I fell asleep.

 Friday was a pretty good day. Karen came in and fed the hungry Mongol, fed me, and then we did some personal care and, of course, a nice long hot relaxing bath. My little brother came in to say goodbye; my older brother will take him to the airport to go home. Somebody from Numotion will come and pick up my chair and take it back to the shop to fix it; there's a bunch of bolts missing, the chair doesn't go all the way down, they're going to put new tires and casters… It will be like I have a whole new chair. I had to stay in bed, but it will be worth it. I watched TV all day and edited some pictures until Adriana came in to feed the hungry pup, feed me, do a couple of laundries, wash my face, brush my teeth, wipe everything down, and then go home. My brother and I watched a movie, and then he went upstairs to go to sleep, and I watched Tevo shows until I fell asleep.

Saturday was a pretty good day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry pooch and then fed me, got me dressed, and up in my chair. She took me over to my appointment with Jennifer to get my face wax. We went grocery shopping and then came home. Cindy went home, and I chatted with my cousin Debbie until Adriana came in. I adore my cousin so much… She is just the best person I know. she gave me a recipe for these really killer cookies; I can't wait to try them… She made them for Christmas, and her sister Kelly has made them a couple times, and they are a huge hit.  Stanley drove over to Stanford to bring my mom home; it's bizarre because she wasn't doing very good one day, and then this morning, they said she could go home. It will be nice to have her back home again; home is always the best place to get better. Adriana put me to bed after she fed Dude. She fed me and did a couple loads of laundry before she went home. I really wanted to see my mom, but she still has a little way to go before she feels well enough to have visitors. She will have to quarantine for a while upstairs with my brother before seeing anybody anyway; there will be visiting nurses and physical therapists coming to visit to help her get stronger. I watch TV until I fell asleep.

 Sunday was a pretty good day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry pup and then fed me. She spent most of the day cleaning and straightening up the garage, and when she got done, it looked amazing! This girl always amazes me! I felt really unsettled for a while, and I realized why today; it just didn't seem the same with my mom gone. Karen came in at noon to do some personal care and a nice long hot bath; I wish I could do this every night before I went to bed because I sleep so well. I watched TV for a little while and then I was out.