Getting towards the end of January…

 Monday was an okay day. Karen came in, fed the hungry mongrel, fed me, and then got me dressed and up in my chair. It seems like these days always start out with the massage, either by Susan or the massager, and they seem to end in the same way. I have never had to pain this and getting really tired of it. My primary care Dr. was supposed to set me up with some physical therapy, but I haven't heard from anybody in what seems like forever, so I called, and they said they're waiting for the paperwork to be faxed from my primary care's office… When I message my primary care's office, they said they had already faxed over the referral, but they would do it again so I can call back in the morning. Since everything is opening up now and because I only have a driver on Tuesday, all my appointments are lined up on Tuesday, so I will get started with physical therapy until February 16th, several weeks away. Usually, when I get a doctor's appointment, I don't have an issue anymore, but this just won't go away. Not to mention that since they're opening up, everybody else's making appointments also, so it only makes it that much further out. I had to make a couple of phone calls, but then I decided we just needed to get out of here and go cruise around where it's beautiful, and you can't be sad about anything. We cruised through Depot Park and then down to the end of the wharf and back. I headed over towards the boardwalk, but then I felt guilty and thought I better get home and make those appointments, so we cruised back home. As I was moving down the long stretch of sidewalk between the wharf and Depot Park, all of a sudden, a golden retriever jumped or fell out of the back of the truck and did a couple of somersaults behind the driver. I just froze because it was only several feet away, and I really didn't want to see a hurt down. Luckily the dog bounced right up and started cruising down the street. A lady a couple cars behind stopped and help the guy get his dog, and as he was walking back, I could tell that he didn't look forward at all, so I was relieved. There was another golden retriever in the back, but he was just watching the whole thing.  I remembered a couple of years ago when I was cruising down that same strip, and I saw a guy that had his dog by the collar, no leash, and the dog's front paws were even touching the ground. The guy was yelling at him as he was dragging him by his back legs down the street, and I didn't even mean to, but all the sudden "hey" came out of my mouth, the guy looks over at me, and he was passed off. He said, "you want this dog? Come and get him" I surprised myself by yelling now, so I just froze and watched him walk on down the street. If he treats his dog like that in public, I can't even imagine how he treats them at home. It just breaks my heart. I made many phone calls, and I felt a little bit better, but now it's too late to go back out, and cruise, plus my neck/arm/shoulders are hurting really bad, and bouncing around in the chair doesn't help. I watched TV for a while until Rosa came in. After feeding my silly mongrel, she put me to bed and provided me. She gave me some cannabis chocolate and then scooted around cleaning and vacuuming. I swear this lady is like the Energizer Bunny… I don't ever see her slow down. She finished up and went home, and I watch TV for a while until I fell asleep.

 Tuesday was a pretty good day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry little boy and got me dressing up in my chair. I didn't eat anything because my first appointment was a spinal MRI to see if they can see anything wrong with my neck, shoulders, or arms. I have another work later on, so I planned on just getting disappointment over with, and then we can go get something to eat before we go to the other one. Everybody is always so nice and goes out of their way to make sure that I'm comfortable, but it's just not comfortable whenever I have to go into debt MRI. Not only am I claustrophobic, but they have to put a cage around your head so that you don't move during the procedure. I brought a couple of lorazepam pills just in case, but it would be really nice if I didn't have to take one so early in the morning. It really helps that the texts are so adorable and like to joke around. I decided to just go out and try it without the lorazepam. It wasn't that bad. They put in some earplugs and gave me my choice of music on Pandora. The lady told me exactly how long it was going to do and how long each break was in between, and then we're going to start again and for how long that session, and that really helped a lot. I just tried to think of other things, and before I knew it was over, and they were pulling back out of this too and loading me back in my chair, one down and one more to go but the other ones going to be a piece of cake after this one. We got some coffee, and actually, we didn't have as much time as we thought, so we had time to drink coffee, and then it was time to head over to visit my new urologist. It took me so long to see this guy because my urologist retired over the pandemic, so I have to establish a new one. Of course, my massive UTI and the granuloma on my SP tube site are all cleared up now because my primary care Dr. put me on three rounds of potent antibiotics and came to my house a couple of times to check on. When I saw the doctor, he just looked at me, looked at my SP tube site, and said, "it looks great, nothing like what your doctor described" I also had a bunch of pictures on my phone that I wanted to show him what it looked like. Still, he didn't want to see them. It's already healed, so why would he want to see a woman I have in the past? The good news is now that I have a urologist established, next time I need to get into see him, but it will be as bad. We grabbed some taco salads from the taqueria and headed home. I ate half of the salad, and we stopped by and got another cup of coffee, it was so good! I lay back and rested for a while. Cindy went to pick up her mom and bring her back. My friend Jan texted me to see if we wanted to get our CCI pups together tomorrow for a puppy play date. Of course, I did! Rosa came in and fed the starving dog and then put me to bed. My brother Stanley flew in last night to stay here with me while my mom is in the hospital and take care of her a little bit when she gets out. I have the most amazing brothers! My brother made dinner and then came down, and we watched a movie called let him go with Kevin Costner. It was a perfect movie, and I actually stayed awake the whole thing. After the movie, Stanley went upstairs, and I fell asleep. I didn't get to take pictures today because we decided to take off the camera. We knew there probably wouldn't be any time for me to run over to the wharf and back anyways, so I peeked on Facebook quickly and took some pictures that my favorite Santa Cruz photographer took during the day. Today's theme was the floods running down through the mountain property that got burned last year. This guy takes the most amazing pictures! I watched TV for a while and then fell asleep.

Wednesday was a pretty good day. Susan came in to give me a nice long two-hour massage, and believe me, I needed it. It's funny how she seems to be guided towards the sore muscles, and then pretty soon, she hits the spot that just sends me through the roof. Then she says she's pressing on the super painful area "take deep breaths and relax," I usually only have to endure it for a couple of seconds, and then he goes away. After she does this a couple of times, she stretches out my neck with a towel, and we hear a bunch of pops, the pups always make me really nervous, but it's supposed to be a good thing. She's been making some cannabis-infused toffee, and it is so good. I don't know how much of a buzz I feel from it, but it sure tastes good. Karen came in and got me something to eat, I still don't have much of an appetite, and I'm trying to get in to get upper endoscopy, and I'm hoping that will tell us something. It's just not like me to have no appetite. I also found out that I'm anemic, and my salt level is shallow. I have these noodles that I love to eat that are really high in salt, so now I have an excuse to eat them. A bowl of noodles is about the only thing that my appetite really lets me enjoy anymore. I gave a couple bites of breakfast and then drink my coffee, and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath. When we do the personal-care, I'm so miserable for about 1/2 an hour I get really sweaty, then cold, then I can keep my hair out of my face, and then I get sleepy. About this time, it's over, and I just take a little nap while Karen gets everything ready for my nice long hot bath. It took a little while longer after the bath because we had to do some more personal care, but I did get a second bath, which is always good. I decided to stay in bed because, at this point, I would only be able to get up for one or two hours, and it is just not worth it. Since I'm not able to get my hair done again, it's getting longer than I would like, so Karen has just been brading it, and when I stay in bed, I just leave it like that, and if I get up, I just put on a baseball cap and then a sweatshirt with the hood to keep my hat on in the wind. I watch TV and listen to music, and the day went by pretty fast. I had some frozen King crab legs in the freezer, so Stanley took them out, found some Mexican corn, and made a salad with crab, and we had an amazing dinner! Rosa had never had King crab legs, and she LOVED it. After dinner, Rosa buzzed around and cleaned up while Stanley and I watched news of the world with Tom Hanks, another one of Stanley's picks, and another great movie. He went up to bed, and I watch TV until I fell asleep.

 Thursday was a pretty good day. Karen came in, and unfortunately, we had to do some more personal care, but that just means another nice long hot bath. Every day I get a bath, it's a good day! Dude and I took off for a cruise through Depot Park, down to the end of the wharf and back and then home. Jan came over with Teak, and they had such a good time playing in the yard, they missed each other, and they both needed to expend some energy. I always have such a great time just talking with Jan and hanging out. The dogs were tired, so Jan took off, and we came into the house to watch TV for a while. Joy came over, and she took Dude out for a cruise. When she brought the dude back, we visited for a little bit, and Joy went home. Adriana came in and took me over to Target to get some stuff for Valentine's Day. They didn't have a lot of stuff… It was almost sleeping candy. Adriana took me over to Woodworm, and they had a bunch of really cool declarations. Now that's what I'm talking about. We headed home, and she fed the hungry pup, put me to bed, and then fed me. She did a couple of loads of laundry and then went home. One of my favorite parts of the day is after my caregiver puts me to bed and I have pretty much the whole evening to myself to just watch TV, listen to music, edit pictures, and cruise around on the Internet. I did all that and then watched more TV until I fell asleep.

 Friday was a pretty good day. Susan came in again to give me a nice long massage. I can't believe how long and how hard this pain is hanging on. I normally have really high pain tolerance, but what I'm having right now is really excruciating. I look that word up, and now I know exactly what it means, and I think I saw a picture of me in the dictionary. When I described the pain to Susan, my massage therapist, she told me that chronic pain is… Terrible pain and it lasts for a long time. I did get a nice long hot bath out of the deal when Karen came in, so I'm happy. After the bath, I decided to stay in bed and relax my neck and arms. I suggested tacos because it is Friday, but my brother is not really eating carbs, so we decided to have something else, but he did come down and watch a movie with me afterward.  My nephew's wife Melissa texted me some pictures of her and my nephew on the beach with the dogs, they are so incredible, and they have the most beautiful dogs! I just watched TV and tried to not move, that's really hard when you have the computer right in front of you. Adriana came in and decorated for Valentine's Day, which always makes me feel better! She did a couple loads of laundry, and then she went home. My mother came down, and we watched a movie, this time I was falling asleep a little bit… I just always hope that I'm not snoring too loud. After he left, I fell right to sleep.

 Saturday was a pretty good day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry pupster, fed me, and as usual in the morning these days hit my neck, shoulders, and arms with the massager and then put on my heating pad… 7 AM and my neck is already hurting some looks like I'll be staying in bed today. I always try not moving and the heating pad first, and then when it seems like that's not helping them take a couple of gabapentin. I wish I could do without it, but this pain is just ridiculous. Cindy left and went and got a couple of things for me and then went to decorate Adriana's house because it's her birthday! This family is so incredible, they make a big deal out of everybody's birthday, and they are so creative with how they decorate. Last June they threw me a surprise birthday party, and it was just amazing. They make me feel like I am part of the family, and it always makes me feel so good! Of course, they invited me, but Adriana's house is not accessible in the cold air just kills my neck and shoulders. I watch TV, listen to music, and edit pictures… since I started having all this pain, I'm trying to use my right arm as much, So I'm way behind on my blog, and I so OCD it makes me crazy. The day went by pretty slow. Stanley came down a couple times to see if I needed anything and then came down to feed the low starving pop and then provided me. Adriana took off the evening to spend with her family so they can celebrate her birthday. Stanley and I watched another movie. I don't remember which one, but they were all good. My uncle Ronnie pretty much only watches movies day and night, so he recommended some good ones to Stanley. I took a couple more gabapentin and some cannabis-infused chocolate and just watch TV until I fell asleep.

 Sunday was a perfect day! My mom gets to come home from the hospital. There is just a sense of sadness when she's not here! Cindy came in and fed the hungry pooch, fed me, and I decided to stay in bed since Karen was coming in at noon to do some personal care and, of course, a bath. They gave my mom permission to come home with oxygen, which is great. She will be able to breathe a lot better… Her doctors have been trying to get her on oxygen for a long time, but I think that she thinks that she will never again be able to breathe very well independently when she gets on oxygen. You know how it goes in the hospital? They said she can go home, but then there's so much paperwork and stuff to release her who knows what time. Cindy cleaned up a little bit and then went home. I'm still having many problems with my neck, back, and arms, so I'm still trying to just stay still and not use my arms very much. Karen came in at noon and fed Dude half of his food, it's too early to give it all to him, but it seems to be too cruel to have Karen come in and not feed him. Personal care went really well except for stopping a couple of times from hitting my neck with the massager. As soon as I hit that lovely hot water for the bath, I immediately feel better. Karen put me back to bed and then went home. I really like having the rest of Sunday evening to just relax, watch TV and listen to music. Stanley brought my mom home, and it was perfect to see her. She said a quick hello at the doorway of my bedroom because she was and just wanted to get back to her home and to her couch in the living room. I watched TV some more and edited at least a day's worth of pictures before my neck started hurting. I just watched TV until I fell asleep. fatigued