Monday was a really great day! Susan came in to give me a message, my neck, shoulders, and arms are hurting so bad these days that I'm having Susan come in two or three times a week. It feels perfect for a little while and even better when I take a bath but then after my caregiver rolls me around for a while and gets me up in the chair, my neck is sore again. Karen came in, and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath, the best feeling in the world! The last time I went to see Dr. Owens, she told me that my salt level in my body is shallow. I found these noodles that I am really addicted to, but I've been staying away because I forgot a lot of salt, so this is perfect. Karen got me dressed and up in my chair, and Dude and I took off for a nice long cruise up and down the wharf a couple times, over to the boardwalk, and then back home… The waves were so beautiful I didn't want to leave, but my phone was dying from taking so many pictures. Dude and I cruised back and just relax and watch TV for a while until Rosa came in. She fed the hungry boy and then put me to bed and fed me. She vacuumed and wiped everything down and cleaned up the kitchen, and then left. These days I feel like I am so cranky. I have never felt pain like this in my life that lasted this long… Susan said it's a chronic pain. Sometimes it makes me feel like I just want to get up and run out of my skin, so I usually take lorazepam and cruise up and down the driveway for a while until my body calms down. I can honestly hear my heart thumping. I finally calmed down, ate a little bit, and then spent most of the evening watching TV until I fell asleep.
Tuesday was a perfect day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry pup and got me dressed and up in my chair. I have a really early appointment with the foot Dr., so I didn't eat… We decided to go somewhere nice and hang out and get something to eat. My regular doctor, Dr. Hurray, was that surgery, so I saw a different doctor… She was really nice, but I miss my regular foot Dr. because I've been going to him for many years. He has labs at home, and so obviously, he loves my service dogs. We decided to go over to the harbor, try out the El Palomar Café and sit up front and enjoy this beautiful day. It was so gorgeous! I got shrimp nachos, and they were absolutely delicious! I haven't had much of an appetite lately, but I just about polish them off; they were so good. We cruised down the path, and I took some pictures, and then we decided we better go because we have to pick up Cindy's mom Rosa and bring her back to my house so she can put me to bed because Dr. Owens is coming to check on my SP tube site and I need to be in bed. It's starting to look better, but it was awful, the worst UTI I have ever had, and Dr. Owens was really concerned. My urologist retired during the pandemic, so I had to find another one, and it was taking me months to get an appointment because they were also booked. She said everything looked okay but put me on another round of antibiotics to ensure that everything is cleaning up when I see the urologist. Rosa got me something to eat, and I really wasn't hungry, but it was just fruit and yogurt, so I ate it, and it was perfect! She buzzed around and vacuumed, wipe everything down, clean up the kitchen, and then went home. Even though the sun was out, it was a little bit cold, so my neck/arms/shoulders are really sore, so I'm just laying in my bed with a hot water bottle under my neck, trying not to move. I was so bored I think I fell asleep.
Wednesday was a pretty good day. Susan came in to give me a nice long massage, she started to find all the little sore muscles, and she just holds her finger or thumb on them, and it bound drives you through the roof, but then pretty soon they released and feels better, 200 more to go. Karen came in, and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath. I decided to stay in bed, and I found one more picture that I missed when I posted my cruise on Westcliff Drive the other day. Last weekend, when the little girls were here, Melia came over and asked if she could have some of the flowers from my back porch to decorate her room; Pier 1 went out of business, so I went crazy I have a lot. She sent me pictures of what you did with the flowers, and it looks so cool! She and her sister Luana are so good about taking care of their dad, they cook dinner, clean the house, and you can just tell how much they all love each other. Rosa came in and fed the hungry pooch and then fed me; she vacuumed and wiped stuff down and then went home. She was telling me about this really cool mug that somebody gave her, and when she got home, she sent me a couple of pictures of it, and it was really cool! I edited pictures, I'm getting so behind on everything that I decided to try resting my arm for an hour and using it for an hour, and it still hurt, but I felt better because I got some stuff done. I eventually nodded off.
Thursday was a great day. Susan came in to give me a nice long massage, which makes me feel better, especially nowadays when I had such problems with my neck/shoulders and arms. I've never had pain like this that's lasted more than a couple of days, and it just about makes you crazy, doesn't seem to be anything I can do to make it feel better. Of course, gabapentin helps, but I'm trying really hard not to take anything to ruin my body more than I've already ruined it. Karen came in, fed the hungry mongrel, fed me, and then got me dressing up in my chair. Just me and my little buddy doing whatever we want to do. It does help to get up and out because I feel good as long as I keep my neck and shoulders warm. I put in some adhesive hot hands on my shirt's front and my shirt's back to keep everything in that area warm. The view and taking pictures also distracts me from the pain. I wander around and just wonder how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place! I decided since we have all day, I wanted to wander through Neary Lagoon. I haven't been through there and so long. It used to be a really nice place to cruise around, but now it's a little scary, it's been taken over by some of the vagrants that wander around Santa Cruz, and every once in a while, you run into an off-leash dog, and that really scares me. There wasn't anybody around. It was so nice to have this big beautiful lagoon all to ourselves. I just wandered all over and took pictures. There is a trail that goes up the hill and ends up in this beautiful bee and butterfly garden the Parks and Recreation built; unfortunately, there was a big puddle right before the walkway going up, and the rain washed away some of the dirt, and I didn't think I could safely get up over the blacktop… Even though I was trying to go straight, I could get the front wheels up within the back wheels would make the wheelchair turn sharply to the left, and I was afraid I would topple over. I tried a few times, then I decided that I better not turned around and went back. We cruised over to the wharf. I always feel like I just have to go stare at the ocean, and it always makes me feel better and is so beautiful. Sometimes I just sit there and think about everything that's happened, so much unhappiness and fear these days of pretty much everything. I took a couple pictures of the ocean and my favorite artwork on Cowells Beach and then headed home. I watch TV for a while until Adriana came in, she took me grocery shopping, and then we came back, and she fed the frisky pup, then put me to bed, and fed me. She did a couple of loads of laundry and then headed home. I was really sore and trying to get all warmed up, so I tried to lay here and not move my arms and watch TV until I eventually fell asleep.
Friday was a pretty good day. Susan came in to give me a nice long relaxing massage, every once in a while I think my neck/shoulders/arms are getting better and I have a good day and they go right back to aching again. Karen came in and we did some personal care and of course a nice long hot bath, it is such a great feeling. She got me dressed and up in my chair and Dude and I were off for a cruise down to the wharf, I took some pictures and cruised around, I think Dude would prefer I would stop taking pictures and just cruise around and enjoy the view. Sometimes I get carried away taking pictures and I looked down and his chin is on my knee looking at me like "can we go now??" Is so adorable! We cruise down to the end of the wharf and back and over to the boardwalk, the boardwalk was all graded up but we cruised down along the side as far as we can go and back. I stopped and took a couple more pictures and then we headed home. Today is Friday and you know what that means? Ruben's tacos for dinner, I have been waiting all week and I'm so excited! We did some grocery shopping and picked up a couple of prescriptions and then headed to pick up our tacos, we call the order ahead so we didn't have to wait but we did have to wait at least until we got home… It smelled so good! I scarfed down my tacos and then Adriana put me to bed after she fed Dude. She did a couple loads of laundry and went upstairs to help my mom for a little bit. When she came back down I was happy and sleepy and I fell asleep soon after she left.
Saturday was a really great day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry mongrel, fed me. Dude jumped up on my bed, he does every morning while my caregiver is looking for something for me to wear. We put that little Dalton Dragon at the bottom of the bed and he read dude and I a story. She me dressed and up in my chair. She had to leave early to take the boys over the hill for their haircut so I have the whole day ahead of me. It's a beautiful day, a perfect day to drive around all day and take pictures of this beautiful place I live in. My plan was to cruise up and down the wharf, cruise up and down the boardwalk and then cruise down Westcliff Boulevard and back but as soon as I got down to Cowell's beach I knew that was not going to happen. When I get to the wharf the first thing I do is cruise all the way down to the right where they have a cement ramp and that's where I can get closest to the beach, when they have events there like wounded warriors, down the beach, operation surf, best day… They build the ramp out even further. As I pulled up to my usual spot where I take pictures I see a bunch of lifeguard vehicles and caution tape and I knew something was going on, my first guest was they pulled somebody out of the ocean for one reason or another. As I got closer I didn't see the crowd around anybody so I just took a couple of pictures of the ocean, it was so beautiful! As I turned around I could see something on the shore and everybody was taking pictures and I soon noticed it was the biggest seal I have ever seen in my life, somebody said maybe it was an elephant seal? It was as big as some of those trucks that the lifeguards drive around in. I took some pictures and some videos from different angles pretty much all day and I didn't really go anywhere else like I had planned. I guess I was waiting around to see if somebody was going to come and do something to take care of it. As I was taking one of the videos the seal picked up his head and looked around and then his head flopped back down, it was really hot that day and I was wondering why wasn't somebody trying to pour water on it or something? I felt so bad for the poor thing but I had heard that they crawl up out of the water to die. I cruised down to the end of the wharf trying out to be one of those people that stairs but when I came back I was one of those people… I took some more pictures and videos until my phone ran out of battery and then I headed home. By this time it wasn't fresh news anymore and hardly anybody was even paying it any attention. I cruised home and Omar was still here finishing up the wine barrel fire pit so I talked to him for a while, he's really excited to be going home in a few weeks to visit his girlfriend and his baby… I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be to have to go so many months without seeing your baby and missing a lot of his first. He showed me pictures and videos, I swear this is the most adorable baby I have ever seen and he's always happy… Omar says he almost never cries. Adriana came in and we were hovering around the fire pit and we decided to order pizza. I should've called but I ordered it online and when it got here we took a couple of bytes and it tasted really awful, we finally realize that there was anchovies on our pizza… NOBODY likes anchovies, just ruin the whole pizza. We texted everybody we know to see if they liked anchovies but of course nobody did, I told them next time somebody else was going to order it because I just cannot be trusted. Luckily I also got some wings, salads, sausages and cheese sticks but I think everybody was so disappointed nobody really ate anything. Omar went home to cook himself something to eat and Adriana and I took a couple of pictures of the solar owl that I got, usually that solar stuff lasts for a while and then just dies but this one is hanging in there. We came in the house and she put me to bed, she tried to take the anchovies off and it was a little better but I think I was so mad at myself I just wasn't hungry anymore. She did a couple loads of laundry and cleaned up the kitchen and then went upstairs to see if my mom needed anything, my mom's been battling nosebleeds lately. I watched TV for a while, edited pictures, listen to music and then I was out.
Sunday was a really bad day. I woke up because I heard the front door and I assumed it was Cindy because she supposed to come in today but when I looked up at the monitor I could see whoever it was running upstairs… I totally panicked! I thought I texted Cindy to ask what was going on but I found out later that I texted my mom by mistake. I finally saw somebody run down the stairs grab something and then rush back up and it was Adriana, she's not supposed to come in today so I got really worried and I texted her to ask her what's going on. She said that my mom has had a nosebleed that started at 5:30 AM and she finally called Adriana at 7:30 AM and told her that she needed an ambulance so she ran over. I have seen so many times fire truck and other emergency vehicles pull up in front of my house and I always picture them coming up the driveway and end up the front porch to the door and this time he really did. I just watched helplessly as my mom came down the chairlift and they put her on the gurney and then took her away to emergency. Adriana came in and told me what was going on but I just still couldn't believe it, I just wanted to jump up and run out of here. They wouldn't let anybody go with her so we just had to sit here and wait for any news at all. We tried to go on with our day as normal as possible but of course we decided I should text everybody in the family and let them know. It's so heartbreaking to give everybody this bad news and I never know what to say or how to break it to anybody but it had to be done, I wasn't even sure myself what was going on. After a while I was able to calm down, I was so glad that Adriana and Cindy were there. My worst nightmare just happened and I don't know what to do. I decided to stay in bed and my big brother texted me and said that his wife was booking him tickets to come and stay here until we know what's going on, I'm so glad that she decided that because I wasn't even thinking about how was I going to stay here by myself. My big brother and his family are just amazing! The day went by pretty fast because I was mostly talking to people through text or messages. It was my cousin's birthday so him and the girls were across the street celebrating, his birthday is actually not until tomorrow but they decided to celebrate it today because it's Sunday and the little girls go home in the morning. They made a killer dinner and brought enough over for my big brother and I. He's coming in the next night and he will be here for who knows how long. Karen came in and we did some personal care and a nice long hot bath, usually getting through the personal care is really tough but it's even harder when you have something tragic to sit there and think about… Same with the bath. I was so glad when it was all over and I was back in bed, I always feel like I'm going to feel better once I get into bed. Karen left and went home and I just laid here and thought of all the possibilities, I tried to distract myself with music, editing pictures and watching TV but nothing helped. I did eventually fall asleep. It is a real comfort to know that my uncle and aunt are right across the street, Karen is two doors down and Adriana is three doors down and they'll told me if I needed anything I could text them or call them. I did eventually drift off to sleep. My niece Aubrey sent me some pictures of her son, she's growing up so fast and he is so smart. They came to visit a couple of years ago and it was so nice to see them again but not enough time to catch up. I hope they come to visit again soon. I watched a little bit more TV and finally drifted off to sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment