The air is clearing but now it's too hot to go outside…

 Monday was another relaxing day. Karen came in, and fed Dude fed me and then put me on my side for a while. It's supposed to be hot all next week, so I want to start getting up in the morning, writing my exercise cycle, having breakfast on the front porch before it gets too hot, and then going back to bed for the day. This staying in bed drives me nuts; I've been having terrible spasms all day, and my stomach is so bloated. Heather came by, and hung out for a while, and then she texted her wife Mariposa, and Mariposa came by with some tacos. I watched 90-day fiancé and then Judge Judy for most of the day, and then I put some music on and try to relax. Rosa came in and fed the Dude and then got me something to eat, I took a couple bites, but I wasn't really hungry. My uncle and aunt came over to play cribbage with my mom and me, my uncle was my partner, and I think we won all but one game… I started out with five dollars, and I ended up with nine. After they left, I still couldn't sleep, my stomach is just spasming really bad, and I itch all over… What is wrong with me?? I took a Lorazepam, and then later on, Adriana came by, and I took a couple of Benadryl's, so hopefully, that will call me down for the night. Tomorrow I definitely get up!

Tuesday was a perfect day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry boy and then fed me, she got me dressed and up in my chair, and we all took off for my appointment with Dr. Petrocelli… My osteoporosis Dr., to get a shot. We took my van to get it slogged so I could get my new tags, and luckily, everything went smoothly. We decided to go to Pier 1 to do some more shopping, that place is really clearing out, but I did find some more stuff. On the way home, we stopped at Burger.to get some sliders, tater tots, and a milkshake… I got my usual Kobe sliders with tater tots and a peanut butter and banana shake and brought it back to eat under the pergola… It was so delicious! It wasn't near as hot as the weather said it was going to be, so Dude and I took off for a cruise down to the end of the wharf and back; it was getting a little chilly. I rested for a bit until Rosa came in; she took Dude out to go potty and then fed him. She put me to bed and then fed me, but I wasn't really hungry; the last couple of days, I've been really itchy and bloated and not very hungry. I took a couple of Benadryl's, and I was asleep before she left. I woke up a little while later and remembered that I hadn't taken any of my evening pills, and the barrettes in my hair were falling out and poking me, so my mom came down to help me out. Luckily I fell right back to sleep.

Wednesday was an okay day. Susan came in and gave me a nice long massage, and always feel so great. Karen came in and fed Dude, and we do some personal care and a nice long hot bath; we were very successful with the personal-care which makes me a little nervous because Karen will be able to stick around and help me out with it tomorrow because she has to do blood work and has an appointment, I think I talked to Adriana tonight and see if she or her sister can help me out with some personal care tomorrow evening… And hopefully another bath. I watched true life and caught up on my blog. Rosa went back over the hill, so I'm not sure who's coming in tonight but probably Adriana. Adriana came in and agreed to go in and help me tomorrow morning, such a relief. She and her family are so amazing, I don't know what I would do without them. I would be so healthy and happy if it wasn't for them and Karen; they are all such generous, caring people… I'm so lucky! I watched TV for a while and eventually fell asleep.

Thursday was just a terrible day. Karen came in to get Adriana started, Adriana has done personal care and back before, but I'm sure she felt better having Karen there to help her through it. We tried some liquid Dulcolax last night when Adriano came in at 10 PM to let Dude out. We got started but didn't have any luck, so we decided to put me in the bathtub, and that's when Karen had to go; Adriana tried for a while and finally had some success. I got to take another path, but by the end of the day, we were both exhausted, from 6 AM until 4 PM. The rest of the night was just a blur; I watched TV and played games on the computer while my mind and body were exhausted.  My niece texted me from Oregon and said that they were surrounded by fire and they were thinking about getting out; she said by four PM, you can't see your hand and from your face from the smoke. I told them we have plenty of room and their welcome at any time, of course. I got a Facebook message from my exes sister, and she said that he passed away a couple of days ago. He came here a couple of years ago to visit. We had kept in touch by email on and off. In fact, he sent me a message a couple of weeks ago and said that he didn't like email and wanted me to call him or text him and now I wish I had, the last couple of nights I kept telling myself I need to answer his emails… I really don't like the telephone. His sister said to me that he was really depressed and lonely, so now I feel even worse. She said that his wife left him in a nasty divorce, and she and the kids drained his money. She said he lived with roommates, and they found him in his room with a lot of empty bottles of alcohol and a lot of empty pill bottles. I so wish I could go back in time a couple of days; maybe I could have talked to him and helped him? She said when she gets the toxicology report, she will let me know why he passed. Now I just totally numb.

There's a comedy lab that just opened up a while before the pandemic, and I went there once on sloth night; people tell stories about a subject that is already chosen. My friend Trish took Adriana and me there one night, and it was really cold, so now I watch it live on Facebook every Thursday. Tonight instead of telling stories, they had a black lives matter session, and it was amazing! They have a couple of local photographers that have taken pictures of the events going on around here, some really amazing photographers! I texted a friend of mine who is also a quadriplegic but extremely active and asked him about organic juices and stuff that he drinks, so he gave me the name of a local company and told me that he drinks beet kvass and cherry juice; he said he has been doing it for years. He said they also have a three day cleanse and everything is delicious and he said they have delicious organic yogurt, so I thought I would try. I heard about so much loss, and there's so much sadness I wish I could take back all the bad things I put my body through in my early adult years. I'm really going to try now to take care of myself; I'm 59 now.

 Friday was a miserable day. Karen came in and fed Dude, and I just wasn't hungry, so I just had some tea. I was hoping since we did my personal care yesterday that we wouldn't have to do it again, but that wasn't the case; it was so painful, and with the bad news, but I got from my exes sister I just cried through the whole thing. The bath was really lovely and relaxing, and Karen put me back to bed, and I just laid there no for the rest of the day. Numotion finally came out to fix my chair, but it wasn't until 1:30 PM, so I didn't even bother getting up. I was relieved that my chair finally got fixed, and tomorrow I'm getting up, and I'm out of here. I tried watching TV, listening to music, and playing games, but I just couldn't get into anything. My friends Ian and Jennifer had their baby, and the pictures were so adorable! They have a black lab named Duke, and he was trying so hard to get close to the baby, but since it was new, I think they were afraid to let him, but when he finally got his nose near the baby, you could tell it was love. I wasn't this sad when Robby passed, or maybe everything is just hitting me right now at the same time. Adriana came in and went and did some grocery shopping for my mom and me. I've been craving a lot of sandwiches lately and salads, so I thought maybe that would make me feel better, so I had her get some stuff for that. The sandwich was delicious, but then I decided to have some noodles with it, and I just ate way too much and felt too full the rest of the night. I finally decided to take some Advil PMs, and eventually, I did fall asleep.

Saturday was a little bit better day. Cindy came in and fed Dude and then fed me; she got me dressed and up in my chair… It sure felt good to get in my chair. I showed Cindy the pictures of Ian and Jennifer's baby, she knows them also and then later, I got a message from Ian saying that if I want to meet the baby, I could call them,. Still, I promised Cindy I'd wait until tomorrow morning so she can meet the baby also. Omar came by and said he would get the materials to build my storage cabinet outside; I'm so excited about this. I took off for my appointment with Jessica to get my hair done; my hair has been getting on my nerves because it's so long, so I am really excited about getting it cut. I got there about 1/2 an hour early, so I just tilted back in my chair, listen to music and watch the people go by… It was so nice to be out and about again and not have to worry if my battery would die. It was so lovely to see Jessica; she is so sweet and always makes me laugh. After I got my hair done, I wanted to go down to the wharf, but I decided to just head home and wait for Adriana to come in. She came in and fed the big boy, put me to bed, and then fed me.  she cleaned up Dudes ear really good and it looks a lot better, I have to take him back in next week to have the doctor recheck it. I watched the 90-day fiancé series from last week, and I can't believe they already start again tomorrow; I'm so addicted! I tried to catch up on my food diary; I'm keeping one and trying to figure out why I'm so bloated all the time… I'm starting to think it might just stress because it seems like no matter what I eat, I'm bloated and uncomfortable. I wish I could figure out what to do so my life can become somehow familiar again. I was just tense and uncomfortable, so I decided to take a couple of Advil PMs. I played cribbage for a while and eventually fell asleep.

WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT ...

I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it's not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked, and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial & family crisis.

For some that live alone, they're facing endless loneliness. While for others, it is peace, rest & time with their mother, father, sons & daughters.

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment, some bring in more money to their households than they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales.

Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus, while other families of 4 saw $0.

Some were concerned about getting a specific candy for Easter, while others were concerned if there would be enough bread, milk, and eggs for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don't qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.

Some are home spending 2-3 hours/day helping their child with online schooling while others spend 2-3 hours/day on educating their children on top of a 10-12 hour workday.

Some have experienced the near-death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it, and some are not sure if their loved ones will make it. Others don't believe this is a big deal.

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during 2020. Others say the worst is yet to come.

So, friends, we are not in the same boat. We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are entirely different.

Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is essential to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, actually seeing.

We are all on different ships during this storm, experiencing a very different journey.

Realize that and be kind.

Unknown author

Sunday was another relaxing day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry pup and then fed me. She spent a lot of time Cleaning out the cupboards in the garage and putting away my new outdoor dinnerware, rearranging everything else and fixing up fixing up some vases, flowers and vase fillers that I got from the Pier 1 import huge sale. I watch TV most of the day, not really thinking about anything or paying attention just staring at the TV. Cindy went home just as Karen came in at 2 PM. She fed Dude and then we did some personal care and a nice long hot relaxing bath, everything is okay now. I played candy crush, a little bit of cribbage and then watch TV until I fell asleep.

Is it too early to say I think were coming out on the other side finally…

 Monday was a really nice day. Karen came in and fed Dude and then fed me and got me dressed in up in my chair. I was so excited that I had the whole day to cruise around with Dude and it was a beautiful day. I haven't been up this early, felt this great felt this excited to get out and cruise around for a long time. Karen hooked up my camera on my chair so I can take pictures but of course, as soon as I got out and around the corner, the mount bounced around and the camera drop down, I get so frustrated. I tried to fix it a couple times by tilting in front of a pole to see if I could straighten it up but it didn't work and I didn't want to break the camera so I just shut it off. We cruised through Depot Park, down to the end of the wharf and back, down to the end of the boardwalk and back and then home. I didn't really want to come home but I didn't want to get stuck out and about with my battery dying and being so unpredictable. As soon as I got in the driveway and started up the ramp to my back door the battery indicator on my chair went to totally empty. I still have until the 11th to drive around like this, it's so annoying! I just sat around and watched TV until Rosa came in. She fed Dude and then put me to bed and fed me, again she was tired from all the running around over the hill so I tried to get her to go home early so she could spend some time with her family and get some rest. I think she said she had one more week and then they were going to start moving her clients back into the care facility, I know she will be so glad to be able to be back on the side of the hill. I played cribbage for a while with my uncle, my aunt, and my mom, my mom was my partner and we kicked ass! I listen to music for a while and then fell asleep.

Tuesday was a very exciting day, today's the day my mom gets her Safe Step tub/shower installed. They told her they would be here at 8 AM and that would take pretty much all day but they would leave everything spotless when they left. Cindy came in and fed Dude and then fed me and got me dressed and up in my chair. I had a dentist appointment at 11 AM and usually, I go by myself but since I don't trust my chair Cindy said she would go down and wait for me, I thought it was just a cleaning and would only take 45 minutes but when I got there they told me they were going to fill two cavities and build up and file down some of my front teeth. I have been clenching my job a lot and my teeth are grinding down so it ended up taking three hours. Cindy came back home and did a couple things and I called her when I was done and she came back and got me. She dropped Dude and I off and then went to go get her mother, I just lay back and rested for a bit… My mouth was really sore. Rosa came in to feed Dude and then put me to bed, my mom came down and showed us pictures of her new Safe Step tub and her Bidet… It looked pretty awesome! I had Cindy go up and take some more pictures with my camera so I would have them on my computer. Rosa put me to bed and then fed me and then went home to get some rest. I watched TV and played candy crush for a little while until I fell asleep.

 Wednesday was a pretty good day. Susan came in to give me a nice long massage, it's been a long time and it felt so wonderful! Karen came in and we did some personal care and I got to take a nice long hot bath, the whole time I'm thinking how nice it would be to be able to take a bath with all those amenities. She got me dressing up in my chair and Dude and I took off for a nice long cruise around Santa Cruz. The last week or so Dude has been scratching his ear a lot and every time somebody looks it's either red, there's a bump or he just won't stop scratching it so I called to make him an appointment for tomorrow at 2 PM. He scratched it now and it's bleeding so it's time. We took out and cruised down to the wharf, over to the boardwalk, and then back home so I can tilt back and rest a bit before Adriana comes in. I watch TV for a while until Adriana came in to feed Dude, she put me to bed and then got me something to eat and then took off. I watch TV until I eventually drifted off to sleep.

 Thursday turned out to be a really nice day. Karen came in and fed Dude and then fed me, she got me dressing up in my chair. I took Dude for a nice little cruise down to the wharf, over to the boardwalk, down to the end of the wharf again, and then back to rest before I take Dude to his appointment at the vet. Again just as I drove in the door my battery indicator was all the way dead, sometimes if I stay idle for a while it will charge back up but it didn't look like that was going to happen and I had to take due down in half an hour. I messaged Adriana and told her that I was going to be taking Dude down to the vet so keep her phoning her in case my chair dies and I need her to come and get me with the van. I made it down there okay and they took dude inside, Dr. Martinelli called me a couple of times, and the first time she told me that the day after Robby passed away her lab/retriever mix was diagnosed with intestinal cancer… Her dog looks a lot like Robby. The second time she prescribed dude some antibiotics and gave us something to clean out his wound and some powder so it doesn't itch. They came out with a big box of memorial stuff that I ordered when Robby passed away and I knew there was no way I was going to get that home so I texted Adriana and she got the van and came to get us. I was tilted back and as I sat up I looked over to the left and there were Andrew and Kona, Kona is Dude's new play buddy. I had to keep looking because I didn't have my glasses on and it's hard to tell who people are sometimes with the masks on their face but eventually I just took a chance and said hello and it was them, Konas first vet appointment. Adriana drove up We loaded everything in the van and came on home. She fed Dude, put me to bed, and then we opened up the box to see what was in it… I ordered about eight stemless wine glasses, eight mugs with Robby's pawprint on them, a beautiful box with his picture that had his ashes and it. I also ordered a red rose pendant with his ashes in it and they gave me a pop print with a little poem on it. They are such amazing people all of them! She got me something to eat and then brush my teeth and wash my face and then went home. I put a category in my pictures of just Robby and when I start missing him a lot I put on the music and just watch him through the years, he was the best dog ever! I think I cried myself to sleep.

 Friday was a pretty good day. Karen came in and fed Dude and then fed me. We did some personal care and then a nice long hot bath, it was supposed to be really hot so I decided to just stay in bed and relax… Dude has this big huge cone of shame on his head so I'm sure he doesn't want to be out in public either. We tried to make it fun with tennis balls and stuff but he was not amused. I caught up on my blog, I was almost 2 weeks behind… It's so hard if I don't keep up every night to remember what happened over the last couple of days even with the calendar and pictures. My uncle Ronnie from Arizona texted me and we ended up chatting for a little while and it was really nice, it was over 100 there and he had his grandchildren at the waterpark…They are so adorable! Adriana came in and went to Safeway to get a couple of things for my mom and I, I was going to get some stuff to snack on but instead she took a picture of the stacked stuff in my kitchen… I really have a lot! I took a picture of everything to keep in my photographs so when I want a snack I can just look at the pictures. She went to the store and got some fruit and a couple of other things along with my prescriptions. She fed Dude and then fed me and then went on home, her son was having a birthday party and she had four or five boys staying there so she's going to be pretty busy tonight. I was really relieved to be caught up on my blog and fell right to sleep.

 Saturday was a really good day! Cindy came in and fed Dude and then fed me, she got me dressed and up in my chair, and after a quick hello to Omar who was working in the yard Dude and I was off for cruise… It's supposed to get really hot today so I wanted to get out of here as early as I can before it gets too hot. Last night Adriana said if I got up, I didn't really plan to, she would take me over to Pier 1 imports for their going out of business sale. She texted me and said the boys all left and we should get over there before it gets too hot so she came to pick me up at the wharf. When we got there there was a line, there were about three people ahead of us. When we finally got in I was so excited and trying to remember where I saw everything I wanted, Cindy took me there last Tuesday and I got some stuff but we didn't have room in the van because we had it loaded in case we had to evacuate. I thought there would be a lot less stuff but there wasn't, I got some plates and platters that I could use outside… It always makes me nervous using the glass or ceramic outside. We checked out and I was so happy with everything I got, I also got some vases, some silk flowers, and vase fillers. We came back home and she put me to bed and then fed Dude and then fed me, it was starting to get really warm and I was so glad to be back in bed. It's amazing how great retail therapy makes you feel. I watched ninety-day fiancé again and then watched the new Dr. pimple Popper season before I fell asleep.

 Sunday was another relaxing day. Cindy came in and fed the hungry boy and then fed me. She left early because she and her brother were going to go over the hill and spend the night with their mother Rosa, she's been stuck over the hill for a week or two and it looks like it's going to be another five or six weeks. The care facility that Rosa worked at in Scotts Valley got evacuated to Mountain View and they put Rosa and her coworkers in a hotel so they could still take care of them. I got some memorial mugs and stemless wine glasses from the company that cremated Robby and I sent a mug and a glass over the hill for Chuck and Terri with Cindy to drop off on her way to see her mom, She sent me pictures proving that she said it on one the chairs on the porch.  Omar framed one of Robbie's Memorial plaques and hung it on the wall in the hallway, it looked so awesome! I watch TV until Karen came in at 2 PM, she fed Dude and I wasn't hungry so we just started personal care and then a nice long hot bath. I slept all day long, I even slept through the personal-care and the bath… I don't know I am so tired. She put me back to bed and I started watching 90-day fiancé but then fell asleep.